Never forget – shirts of satan!

This is a COMPLETELY unnecessary post, whose only point is to test the ‘publicize’ feature wordpress has, which will enabe me to post my ramblings on facebook automatically (I hope). That’s all folks, move along (unless you’ve missed my ‘inappropriate t-shirts’ post I wrote earlier today. And yeah, I’ll use an old photo. Live with it. I’ll delete this post later anywayz.

Inappropriate shirts

It’s been quiet for a while. I’m in my parent’s house in the country and my access to a computer is somewhat limited and since I forgot my camera at home, I have no way of posting new photos of mine (and let me tell you – you’re missing out – on ugly shirts, that is).

Anyway, today I’m thinking more about inappropriate shirts rather than ugly ones. I usually don’t wear anything I can’t fully support (although I *did* recently order a few NRA shirts just to piss my colleagues off) and so far I haven’t really screwed up. Ok, so some of my less politically correct shirts have drawn a few grumpy faces at work, and my homemade “he who dies first, wins” shirt did not go down a storm with the ambulance nurses at that party where a guy drank too much and had to be helicoptered to the hospital to have his life saved, but no major faux-pas so far.

Some people though, should really think an extra time before walking out the door in the morning. Me and my (then) girlfriend (now wife) visited the concentration camp of Oświęcim (better know under its German name, Auschwitz) on a day trip from Krakow. Now, everyone knows the nazis were evil bastards*, but nowhere does it get any more apparent than here – especiallly as we had a camp survivor who’s parents were both killed at this camp, as a guide. In our group, we had a Polish family, where the son wore this shirt:

Kill 'em all - let god sort 'em out

It doesn’t get more inappropriate than that. Well, ok, I guess it does. I guess he *could* have worn this shirt, which was considered funny and cool among the more daring rednecks of my youth (who also loved wearing Klan shirts and other racist favourites).

Adolf Hitler - Europeean tour, 39-45

But back to that Polish family. It seems to me, one of the following has to be true:

1. They didn’t speak English very well
2. They weren’t very smart
3. They supported what went on at Auschwitz (see #2)

I guess it’s also possible that the Polish guy decided to wear the shirt in the morning, not knowing they’d be visiting a concentration camp. It’s a cool shirt, in a sort of ironic redneck way, my cousin used to have one when he was about five years old and we all thought it was cute as hell. And it IS sometimes hard to remember what shirt you’re currently wearing.

Teach your children to worship satanI once went to the supermarket one afternoon, with my then recently born oldest daughter strapped into one of those baby carrying harnesses. Upon leaving the store, the security guard gave me the thumbs up and told me he loved my shirt. That’s when I remembered I was wearing my the Dwarves shirt that has “teach your children to worship satan” in big letters on the back. Nothing to be ashamed about, I just hadn’t realized I was wearing it and that it looked kinds funny.

Ok, no great philosophical depth here today, it’s hard to concentrate in a small house with two bored kids running around (it’s raining like crazy so they can’t be outdoors). Stay tuned for further shirts and ramblings.

* The nazis had great merch though. They often get a lot of credit for their skilled propaganda, but their merch was outstanding! It’s not a coincidence that even the most leftist punks are drawn to the imagery of the nazis. The red, black and white, iron crosses and swastikas, eagles and totenkopfs – good looking stuff. The power of good merch cannot be underestimated.

Shirt link of the day: I came from nothing

In the past, I came from nothing have been making nice shirts, but way to colorful for me, as I prefer to dress in not-so-loud colors (with maybe not so many zombie skeletons printed all over the chest). But no more! Their 2010 line, inspired by “myths & legends of Alchemy & Magic from around the universe” (!) is much more conservative and classic and I would totally wear these shirts any day. At 18 bucks, they’re not expensive either.

Eyesssss

2 new(ish) shirts of mine

Drums

Today is the first time I’m wearing one of the shirts I bought at Primark last week. There’s not THAT much to say about it really, the shirt is slightly slim fit-ish but with no frills – it’s just a nice, clean print that I like for all its simplicity. About the photo – yeah, my phone really takes shit photos. Also, having a beard when showing off shirts isn’t the greatest thing but… I have one and I ain’t getting rid of it so deal with it, oh future reader (at the moment I have none).

Skeleton

This one, I bought when visiting London in May. I was prepared to go apeshit in Primark like last summer but could only find three shirts I would actually want to wear. During the last two months, I’ve grown to like this one so much I was planning to buy a second copy of it, but prints don’t seem to stay in stock for long – the only one I recognized from my visit 6 weeks earlier was a single flag shirt (I’ll show it to you at a later date) so… no extra, I’ll have to take good care of this one. This shirt is a bit nicer than the one above, some contrasting stitching at the shoulder seam and stuff, but pretty standard after all. The whole skeleton thing gives you a skinny feel, which is always nice.

Future shirt shopping (I hope)

On Monday, I’m off for my holidays, going down south to Öland for a few weeks. On the way, I’m stopping at what I’m hoping will be a Swedish Primark, but which probably won’t be: Lager 157. Hopefully, they’ll have this shirt in stock, or else I may have to buy it online – I’ve always wanted a shirt saying ‘Eat the rich’. If only they could make a ‘Die, yuppie scum’ shirt too!

A day for black – a day of sorrow

Today, everything tastes like burnt paper, the word is desaturated and nothing feels fun. Summer is over. I’m sure I’ll feel better very soon but four years is a long fucking wait until the next world cup. Even the European championships are two years away. After beating the U.K. and Argentina, I really thought we had a chance.

So, today’s shirts will be black. The first one is geeky beyond most shirts and I probably wouldn’t buy this, especially since the shirt itself seems to be very much bog standard, a classic fruit of the loom typa shirt, nothing exciting about it. The whole appeal of it is walking around, being smug about understanding what #000000 stands for and seriously – who the hell doesn’t these days? Still, black on black is nice though (black PRINT on black SHIRT, what did you think, you pervert?). Get it from ThinkGeek, where else?

The second one is a much nicer thing alltogether. Better design, hand printed, individually numbered, nice combed cotton shirt with a vintage feel to it – it should come as no surprise that the “13 Stars Black” shirt from CXXVI comes at a higher price. Totally worth it, in my opinion.

Yeah, 13! Though you can’t really blame bad luck, I suppose – the Spanish *were* the better team last nite, that’s all there is to it. Fuck Spain, I’ll never eat chorizos again!

Making a good looking German supporter shirt – how hard can it be?

Ok, so we’ve established that ze Germans have a sense of humor. What they seem to lack though, is a sense of style (not Löw of course, he’s always looking sharp). I’ve been trying, for a number of years, to find a shirt to wear during WC and EC times to show my support for the Mannschaft. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far, a yellow monstrosity. Ok sure, the eagle and gothic lettering kinda works for me, but as a whole… what an eyesore! To make things even worse, Germany has lost every time I’ve worn this shirt. I’m not a very superstitious person, but I can’t help thinking the gods are punishing me for wearing this ugly shirt.

A quick look at eBay tells us that this is no coincidence. The market for ugly Germany shirts is ENDLESS! Have a look at these beuties:

So… what to do? There are a few alternatives, especially if you’re happy with a shirt that doesn’t mention soccer, but only Germany. And there’s always the very sleek German away shirt. The only problem with that is that you either have to pay an arm and a leg for an official version or give your money to shady Philipinians on eBay. Maybe I should just go for face paint (though that doesn’t work so well when you’ve got a big beard).

Anyway, my point (and this will be repeated over and over again in the future): how can it be so hard to produce a good looking shirt? Great shirts are being made every day, droves of them. Still, for some specific events, bands, teams, companies and such, only butt-ugly shirts exist (expect future rants about zz top, ac/dc and cardiff city). Why? If someone had produced a great Germany 2010 Soccer shirt, say, a  month ago, he’d be rich by now. Or could it be that the people of the fatherland actually prefer these monstrosities? Say it ain’t so!

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