Grateful Dead Kennedys

Not only do you have to love this mashup (of two very different bands, both of which I listen to quite frequently) but you also have to love the name “ye olde Retard Riot shoppe“. Less lovable is the fact that it’s sold out (this thing has been all over the internet while this blog was taking a break so no wonder), hopefully it’ll get reprinted. If not, you can always get the Ronald McHitler shirt…

Satan worship, Celine Dion and other delights

Yes yes, we’re back from the dead, to bring you some non-existing shirts that I like. I’ve posted similar things, like the one with the black metal popstar logos for example, but what the hell – I like stuff like this so I’ll keep posting it as it comes along. I just wish these were actually being made and sold, not just creatively dreamed up i Photoshop by Joey James Hernandez.

Everydayhate

Everydayhate is a one man operation, dealing in extreme music – it’s a music label, merch maker, merch and music seller and distributor and gig arranger. In the name of full disclosure, I should let you know that Andy, who runs it, is a friend of mine and he’s made merch for my band and re-released a couple of our albums. Never mind though, the reason I wanted to bring him to your attention today is that I think some of his Everydayhate merch has gotten really good! Pictured above are a few of the prints and color variations that are available from his eBay store.

I particularly like the Darkthrone shirt (that’s the second from the right to those of you who are not familiar with Norwegian metal logos), and I recently got it from Andy (in black though, of course).

So, if you’re looking for some fast and hard-to-love music, or just need some shirts printed, get in touch with Andy (who is the model in each of the shots above).

Vintage Motörhead shirt on eBay – The chase is better than the catch (at lest this particular catch)

Though I’m no fanatic, I like Motörhead a lot. You know, the old golden years (plus 1916 (which, in this case is an album and not a year)). I always used to have a Motörhead shirt from the tender age of eight or so, until I lost the last one about ten years ago (or maybe more). I’ve always meant to replace it, but never felt like buying a brand new regular Snaggletooth shirt from some street vendor (and buying a concert tour shirt featuring one of the later albums NEVER crossed my mind, believe me!). So, I either want a ‘vintage looking’ shirt (which tend to be ugly) or a real vintage shirt (which tends to get REAL pricy). Still, now and then, I have a look at what’s on offer on eBay. Genuine 70s shirts are very expensive, and I strongly suggest there’s a lot of fakes being sold for hundreds of dollars. Also, my everlasting problem with vintage shirts makes a lot of them impossible – the sizes, older concert shirts are rather small for big fat guys like me.

Anyway, I just wanted to show you one of today’s finds:

A shirt from the 1983 ‘Another Perfect Day’ tour. I got this album when it was new, on cassette, and I still think it’s really good even though Robo made the band sound quite differently. Now, the album cover is a bit special even in it’s origial form, and this is not a great rendering of it. But you know, I’d still TOTALLY wear this. Except… there are a few reasons why I won’t. One thousand reasons. Yup – one thousand smackaroos is the asking price for this bad boy. Nice to see there are still optimists out there…

“The Doors meet the Misfits” shirt

I guess this is Jim Misfitson or something. Can’t be many well known faces left to mix with the crimson ghost but hey, I ain’t complaining. Found this at T-shirt Store but I don’t see it in their online shop.

Thisclose!

Got a new shirt. I love this shirt in so many ways. To begin with, it’s a good quality Gildan shirt and the print is nice and thick (which works good on a print with so few large white areas), but that’s not it. To appreciate this shirt, there’s a few things you need to know. You need to know about the band Discharge. You need to know that once upon a time they decided to change their style and go from d-beat punk to some sort of hair metal. You also need to know about the band Disclose, and their relationship (worship) to Discharge. You also need to know that Thisclose is a band that plays hair metal era-esque Discharge music, with funny lyrics. Finally, you also need to recognize the old Discharge graphics with three skulls. Why they’ve been replaced by deer skulls? I haven’t got a clue – maybe there’s even more you need to know about this, but I’m guessing it’s because they’re from the highlands or something? I don’t know and I don’t really care – I love deer and would have bought this shirt for just the graphics.

Check out Thisclose on Facebook and Bandcamp. The shirts may be sold out as I got one of the last ones, but hopefully they’ll print more. Well, actually, since I have one, I’d be happier if they didn’t, but…. you know.

Rocking shirts online

I wish I had the time and the energy to do what “Fred” has done – document my t-shirts and put them online, like he’s done at rocknrollshirt.com. Nicely photographed and dated. This must have taken forever! The only thing I don’t like is that he puts other’s shirts there as well, making me a bit unsure about what shirts are his. and of course, I would have loved it if he’d told a bit of a story for some of the shirts, where and when he bought it and so on, but it’s still one hell of an effort! Fred lives down under so there’s a bit of a slant towards australian bands, but I don’t mind. In fact – that’s how I found his site, searching for the Hard-Ons “venom” shirt (he doesn’t have that, but he sure has a lot of other Hard-Ons shirts!). Check it out:

Drink nog and worship Satan!

Well, they ain’t shirts, but you know… now and then I write about other things too. This guy buys bargain bin albums and satanifies them with a quite humorous twist. Check it out at Bargainblasphemy!

If you act fast, you can buy some of these on eBay too.

Watain shirts

Watain. Even if you haven’t heard them, you have heard of them, at least if you’re Swedish like me. Shrouded in legends, rumors, darkness and an aura of all around evilness, they spread their dark gospel across the globe like wildfire. You know, I don’t like metal at all, and I’ve always been totally against music that’s ‘spiritual’ in any kind of sense, but there are a lot of things about Watain you have to respect and admire. The main thing for me, is that I don’t think there has ever been a band that has had such a super developed, consistant, high level visual language. Everything they do – shirts, posters, album covers and (now, finally) their website fit together fantastically and seamlessly without resorting to simple reptetition of a few graphical elements. And it’s not like their style is a simplistic cut-and-paste style either, most of their graphics are intricate and complex. And to make things EVEN more impressive, this is (if I’m correctly informed) the work of one of the band members, vocalist E. Where the hell do you find the time?

So, it makes total sense that Watain also have some pretty fantastic merch. Here are just some of the shirts available from their “Wolf Wear” online merch store (and my choppy photoshopping don’t do them justice by a long shot). What can I say? Very very well done, it sure makes me wish I was into the band so I could wear some of this. Or that I could interest (and afford) E in designing something for me.

Victory rexmas sweaters

Apparently x-mas sweaters is the hottest thing on the planet this year. This one’s pretty funny though, Victory records print x-mas sweater merch. Yeah.