No one cares about your stupid fucking dog

stupid_dogFlying Coffin. Just because I don’t post about them all the time, doesn’t mean they stop doing cool things. I’d love to wear this shirt, dog owners do get on my nerves quite a bit. Sure, the design is very very simplistic, but in this case, it’s sufficient. Instagram commenters are already demanding a version that says “your stupid fucking kid”…

Second hand t-shirts – there’s a lot more to them than you’d think

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If you visit stores in Stockholm that sell second hand or even ‘vintage’ shirts, it quickly becomes apparent that someone is bringing in american shirts by bulk. There is just no way that so many used american shirts would end up here by themselves and even the scenario where a Swedish person would go on a buying bonanza, hitting every thrift shop in California, seems unlikely (not to mention not very cost effective). However, that’s where I’ve stopped thinking about it in the past, who cares, right? Well, the other day I stumbled upon this episode of a podcast I’ve been listening to lately, Planet Money, and if – like me – you’re interested in t-shirts, I think you would find it pretty interesting:

Episode 502: The Afterlife Of A T-Shirt

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Not  only do you get an explanation to where these shirts come from and how they end up here, but you also find out what happens to all the other used shirts people give to charity – the ones that aren’t cool enough for european vintage stores. The episode starts with a story that actually sends shivers down my spine, and there’s a moment just after the 14 minute mark that made me whisper “nooooo!” to myself, but don’t worry – it’ll turn out ok in the end. Before you read anymore, listen to the episode, ok?

Great, you’re back. Good huh?

There’s a few thoughts I have on this:

* I bet you could find some really really cool shirts if you went looking in Africa and similar places. I remember a story about Swedish metalheads and die hard Iron Maiden fans Erik and Per Gustavsson (aka ‘bröderna hårdrock’ aka Hellbutcher and Tyrant) watching a documentary about some jungle tribe when they suddenly spotted a true collectors dream super rare Iron Maiden shirt that one of the tribe members were wearing. I doubt, however, that this method wold be financially viable.

* As someone mentions in the comments to the podcast, the thing that does not get mentioned in the episode, is what the flood of second hand clothing is doing to the domestic African clothes manufacturing industry. It’s not doing good things.

* It’s easy to laugh at the criteria the African vendors judge shirts by, it all seems kinda crazy. However, us Swedes are not much better. I see shirts for church bazaars and plumbing companies all the time when I look at what’s called vintage shirts here (and from what I’ve seen of the u.k, they’r not much better) – as long as it’s American, it’s cool. And band shirts… don’t get me started. I don’t know if it’s the Swedish vendors that can’t tell a true vintage band shirt from a cheap knockoff from 2004 or if they bet on customers not being able to tell, but for some reason they all seem to be going at the same price.

Anyway, Planet Money also did a five episode series on the global shirt economy – what goes into producing and exporting shirts. This may sound dull but I didn’t think it was. I may or may not write something about that series too, but there’s no real reason for you to wait for me to do so, right? You’ve got the link to their podcast archive above, go check it out for yourself.

Oh, and one more thing – and this is a big one. The Bat Mitzvah shirt mentioned in the story, the one with Betty Boop on it? The internet being the internet – the original owner of the shirt and the woman who’s Bat Mitzvah it was from – have now been identified and contacted. I love stuff like this!

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Night Watch

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You just have to love that logo! What is Night Watch? Go find out for yourself, but I guess it’s one of those things that grew. In this case it started as a low brow art zine and then got bigger. I have to admit I still haven’t read the actual zine, but my finger is caressing the buy button as the new issue (#5, the puke issue) was just released – it seems to have som fan-fucking-tastic artwork in it.

Not only do they make zines, Night Watch also has some merch, including shirts. The one above is dirt cheap at 10 bucks! The one below to the left is a pre-order shirt featuring the cover art of the puke issue and at 20 bucks, it’s not exactly breaking the bank either.

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Mixing Alfred E with GG Allin? Yes please!

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Satanic Jägermeister shirt

Remember Weird? If you do, and if you like them, I recommend you follow them online somehow, because their output is staggering! Way too much for me to cover it all, especially these days when my blogging has become les frequent. Anyway, let’s set Weird aside for a while and talk about me, ok?

I love deer. Can’t say why, they’re just so cool and good looking. From paintings to porcelain figures, woodcarvings (don’t get me started on cuckoo clocks) and liquor bottles, I’m just a sucker for them.

I love Germany. Lots of people will frown when you say that but damn – it’s a great country! I especially love the southern parts, down by the alps (and I certainly don’t mind the Austiran or Swiss parts of the alps either (Italy, as always, can burn in hell)). The whole alp concept – from traditional dressing to music, to nature and buildings, everything seems nice there.

I am also a fan of what is frequently called “old English” fonts – the type of fonts used in old books that were hand written by monks.

So, taking all of the above, it’s not strange that I really WANT to like Jägermeister. The bottle is so damn good looking and so is the logo. But, of course, it’s central place in the culture of idiots, lads and college jocks makes it impossible for me. Which is sad. For years, I’ve been thinking about remixing their logo somehow but never quite cracked it. Well, Weird beat me to it.

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Turning the cross upside down, replacing the deer with a goat (even though I’m sad to see it go)… well played! I like this! Get it here.

Now, all I need is for them to make a t-shirt version of this and I may be sending money to Brazil.

Hands on tits

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Not my most poetically named post, I must admit, but still: it is a fairly true description (and I’m hoping it will generate lots and lots of perv traffic). I’m kind of fascinated by all these shirts that are meant to make you look naked, or at least semi-dressed and I wonder A) how deceptive they really are and B) who the hell buys them. I suspect most are bought for someone else. It would be pretty unsettling to see this on a hairy middle aged man though… That back print though, that doesn’t even look good on the model, it makes her look like a gross, fleshy maggot or something.

Get it here

Trust no suits

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I’ve been following Sketchy Tank for quite a while, which is something I would recommend you do too. This shirt… Say what you will, but I like it a whole lot! It may not give off that suave “I’m mature” air, but then again, I am not very mature, so who cares? Get it here.

KLF replica shirt now available!

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Finally a faithful recreation of a vintage KLF shirt! You know how many times I’ve posted about KLF shirts – being all excited about the originals on eBay, dissing most of the reprints. Well, if you want it done right, you have to do it yourself. Shirts of Satan have assisted Northern Tyrant in bringing this cult classic shirt back to life and now you can finally own this gem of a shirt without having to pay hundreds of dollars (and without having an ill-fitting shirt you’re afraid to wear, seeing as it cost you so much).

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So – yeah – this is both a regular, but very enthusiastic KLF shirt blog post and a shameless plug – live with it! This shirt will be printed on an old school long sleeve tee, the kind all the death metal bands used in the early 90s (and the stadium trance bands too, apparently). There are no less than four prints on this shirt! A gigantic “KLF” on the front, a circled pyramidblaster on the sleeve/shoulder, an oldschool pyramidblaster (as seen on the “grim up north” cover) on the back, pictured inside a circle with a number of Jimmy and Bills monikers. To top it off, the Northern Tyrant logo will be printed on the inside of the neck. Available in white AND black.

This shirt is available for pre-orders as of now and will only be printed (once) for people who have pre-ordered it. Snooze = lose. Seriously: all other newly printed KLF shirts look like crap compared to this so if you’re in to the Ancients of Mu Mu, this is the one you want! Don’t like longsleeves? Cut them off – that’s what you did back in 1991!

Ok, enough yapping. One extra little bonus though: when figuring out what we should call this shirt, we came across the original flyer where you could order this (and other shirts). Check it out:

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